In a stunning revelation published by The New York Times Magazine in December 2025, a long-forgotten diary from one of Jeffrey Epstein’s early girlfriends has surfaced, offering a rare and intimate glimpse into the manipulative tactics of the disgraced financier. Patricia Schmidt, then a 23-year-old analyst at Bear Stearns, met the 34-year-old Epstein in 1987 when her boss sent her to his home for what seemed like a professional errand. What followed was a tumultuous relationship that Schmidt meticulously documented in her personal diaries from the late 1980s—pages she recently shared publicly for the first time.
Schmidt’s entries paint a portrait of Epstein not as the enigmatic billionaire he later became, but as a calculating manipulator who wielded emotional control like a weapon. She describes how Epstein alternated between intense affection and sudden withdrawal, leaving her emotionally off-balance and dependent. “He would shower me with attention one moment and then ignore me the next,” Schmidt recounted in her interview with The Times. The diary reveals instances where Epstein lied routinely—not just to her, but to his longtime partner, Eva Andersson-Dubin, a former Miss Sweden and physician whom he dated concurrently.
One particularly chilling entry details Epstein’s power plays. Schmidt wrote about situations where he deliberately placed her in uncomfortable positions to assert dominance, such as reminding her of her “lower status” in his life by comparing her unfavorably to other women or joking about her appearance and social circle. In July 1989, after Schmidt confided in Epstein about a married colleague expressing interest in her—hoping to boost her perceived value—Epstein dismissed it coldly, accusing her of naivety and implying the man only wanted sex. Schmidt’s diary entry reflects her self-blame: she berated herself for “hurting” Epstein, illustrating the psychological grip he maintained.
Epstein’s manipulations extended beyond romance; they served his ambitions. Schmidt believes he used relationships like theirs to extract social capital, professional connections, and influence in New York’s elite circles. As a rising figure on Wall Street, Epstein leveraged intimacy to keep women like her isolated and trusting only him. The diaries also note physical encounters, underscoring the imbalance of power between the young analyst and the ambitious financier.
This account predates Epstein’s later infamy—his 2008 plea deal for procuring a minor, his 2019 arrest on federal sex-trafficking charges, and his death in jail—but it exposes the early patterns of behavior that would define his hidden world. Schmidt, now in her late 50s and a journalism instructor, says she came forward to highlight how Epstein groomed and controlled women long before his crimes involved underage victims. “He treated relationships as transactions,” she said. “It was about control, access, and power.”
The diary’s emergence coincides with broader releases of Epstein-related files by the U.S. Department of Justice in late 2025, including photos and documents from investigations. Yet Schmidt’s personal writings provide something rarer: a firsthand view of Epstein’s psyche in his formative years. They reveal a man who viewed women as tools for advancement, alternating charm with cruelty to maintain the upper hand.
For survivors and investigators, these details are not entirely surprising but profoundly validating. They underscore how Epstein’s predatory tactics evolved over decades, hidden behind wealth and charisma. As Schmidt reflects in her diary, the guilt often fell on the women he manipulated—a dynamic that allowed his darker world to remain concealed for so long.
This forgotten diary serves as a haunting reminder: Epstein’s empire of exploitation didn’t begin with islands or jets; it started in quiet Manhattan apartments, with emotional games that left lasting scars.
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